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Hey everybody and welcome back to Echoes of the Yard. I'm your host Kendyl Terrell, soccer player at Jackson State University and this podcast is all about HBCUs. From the guests to the topics, the good, the bad, we're here to talk about it all. For the third episode I'm excited to be joined by Trinity Carruthers, a volleyball player at Morgan State University and girl you do a lot so I cannot wait to get into your story. I'm excited so let's just start with something easy. Tell me about yourself like where you're from, your upbringing, how many siblings you have. Let's get down to the nitty-gritty. Yeah so I am from Arlington, Texas.

I was born in Arlington, raised in Grand Prairie. I grew up in a basketball household. My mom played, my dad played, my sister played. I have one sister. My parents met in college playing basketball kind of like a love of basketball kind of deal. I love it just without the toxicity. Yeah, it's not nothing too crazy and then my sister went to Langston, my parents went to, my dad went to University of New Mexico and then they met at University of Colorado at Colorado Springs and then I came into the world. So volleyball was my last sport. I played soccer. I swam, I danced, I cheered. What else did I do? And then basketball. My mom and dad told me to choose another route, so I chose volleyball because of the spandex which is so crazy and then I ended up falling in love with it just because I don't know; it was just something about wanting to be a part of something just bigger than myself.

I went to Lake Ridge High School, got a couple accolades, and then went to college and now I go to Morgan State. So yeah. Okay, well, dive into your high school years like what like were you always academically like, no like this this and that, like staying on top like P's and Q's, like tell me about that because I come from a family of four; I'm the youngest of four. I have a twin, so it's just kind of like we grew up in the same household. My parents had the same story like they met in college. My dad was actually my mom's coach. It's weird but you know we get you know we get and like as well as well. So yeah. I grew up in the same household.

My parents had the same story like they met in I was sorry as I was growing up like they didn't offer like full rides in soccer so like my dad was like nope find a new path like you can't do that so like I continued that and surprisingly I also played volleyball. I'm six two like so every time people see me they're like are you volleyball or basketball you're a hooper. I'm like no so but okay back to your academics. Let me hear about it. So where were you at in high school? I'm a perfectionist. I still struggle with perfectionism until this day just because of the simple fact I have a lot of pride. I'm very prideful. In high school, I had a 3.6.

It wasn't what it is now like right now, I have a 3.8 but I had a 3.6 in high school. I was very determined. My mom was like, 'C's get degrees.' My dad was like, 'A's and B's,' so I was more hard on myself than anything else. I feel as though if I had anything lower than a B, I would be mad at myself more than anything, and I wanted to take academic all districts every year so I made it all on top of just starting, so I knew I knew if I had everything in line my coach didn't have an excuse not to play me, so yeah, I'm a perfectionist. I love to be organized, time management like that was a big thing for me especially when COVID hit.

I kind of had to figure everything out as far as being online. I love online classes now. I love to be online. I feel like I do great online but I do both at Morgan so figuring it out being a perfectionist and having to also understand, like the mental aspect of it, so like being a perfectionist took a mental toll on me. I'll go in deeper when we start talking about college, but as far as high school, I think battling COVID with perfectionism and everything else kind of took a toll, but I figured it out. Yeah, and okay, so like to dabble into that before we get into the mental health aspect of college, obviously because we both can relate to that. What was your mental outlook like going through the recruiting process?

Like, your thought process about, 'Can I am I mentally prepared for this?' Like, did you were you ready for that big next step and were you expecting the things that you faced in college? Like where was your head at before you stepped through that door? Mentally, I felt as though I was ready, but when I stepped on that campus, I was not ready. I think nothing can prepare you for collegiate athletics, mentally or physically, and when I got to college it was very humbling. It humbled me to the absolute most. I also got hurt my freshman year, so I think understanding and learning how to be a good teammate on and off the court and staying on top of everything that came with being a collegiate athlete and a student um was hard for sure um so was that your first injury?

No, I actually had weak ankles, I have really bad ankles, girl me too it's okay, me too! I have really bad ankles girl me too it's okay me too I have really bad ankles so I spray my ankles all the time. Um, I tore my labrum my sophomore year of high school and then didn't end up getting surgery until last January. And I feel better now but I'm going into my senior year, if I didn't get the surgery last January I probably wouldn't be playing right now just because I couldn't lift my arm above my head so oh okay well that's huge! But like when did you realize you were good enough to play like volleyball in college? Like when was the turning moment for you that you were like wait, like nah, like I could actually do this?

15 years my sophomore year of high school, my sophomore year of high school um it's so crazy because I cut my hair off completely um I did a big chop! Because heat damage was really killing me. Hey, we love a hair journey, we love a hair off. That was the best season I've ever had, um, and then I had a conversation with my dad, um, just about college and what I wanted to do, and how I didn't want them to have to pay for college and what that would look like, um, and understanding that, um, AU athletics is an investment like I don't I don't think I realized how much money was going towards like private clinics, traveling, everything, club tournaments, club coaches.

I think just understanding that I knew at 15, 16's that I would be good enough; I just had to work a little bit harder just because I was behind so like I started when I was 10 but I didn't start playing club until I was 11 which At my time, I think that's fine in fifth and sixth grade, that's behind. So I think 15s and 16s would be the year that I would say that we played against I think Northern Lights um in Colorado Crossroads which was a turning point tournament for me because University of Tennessee, UCLA, University of Arizona were watching us play just because it was a really good team that we were playing so just seeing that atmosphere and being in it um and knowing witnessing it was a big turning point for me.

Okay, so today before we get into like what led you to Morgan State can you dabble a little bit in your like clubbing journey, your travel journey Because, for me, I play travel soccer and like just being realistic, I'm in a predominantly white sport, you're in a predominantly white sport, so it's just kind of like how was that for you looking? I don't know about your experience, but every time I had stepped into that field and looked around, I was the only black girl, and it was like I, it's like I had to bring the culture to the team or I was just another athlete. So, like, how was that for you if you can explain for me? Um, I dealt with it a lot more than I expected.

I say that because the questions that you get were very hard for me to answer because I didn't understand the whole aspect of Code switching for me it was more like, 'Oh, true, your hair's curly today', and then the week later I had braids and they were like, 'Oh, how do you switch your hair so much?' or just the politics of it. And then I was like, 'Oh my god, I think the politics was the hardest part of battling club volleyball for me.' For instance, I didn't make a team because they wanted a certain setter, or I didn't fit the description of somebody that already was in the position, but I was better than... but because I was black, I just didn't get that opportunity and they just kind of pushed me to the side.

And I was on like the third team, so I think that was the hardest part, my most challenging. Season was transitioning from a predominantly black team my junior year to a predominantly white team, and being the only one my senior year, nobody knows this, which is so crazy. I chose the number one because I was the only one, and I think understanding that I had to take on that and figure out what my role was in that short amount of time because my 18th year was my final year, and it was the most challenging; on top of me being hurt, and um, trying to figure out a new team. I think I was more comfortable with the team that I was on 17s, and I wanted to win something my senior year, so my senior year, I we went to nationals; um, I don't remember.

Where it was, but we went to nationals and we got third, but I was on the bench with a hoodie on and my jersey because that was my role to be a good teammate and cheer my teammates on because I was the third setter, and the two the two centers in front of me were predominantly so the politics of club volleyball was definitely the my biggest battle; um, and being a black setter is already hard oh girl yes, and leading lead knowing that you can step on a court and leading in that way is even harder because some people look at you like who is this girl and like why did they give her the opportunity to lead the team because you know setters are.

The ones that they're the playmakers, they're they're, they're the control of the good and bad like they're the ball like it's just, it's I guess they're like oh no if we give her that it's like giving her power when in reality like that's just they wouldn't look at it if you were white like let's just be honest because I've had an experience where I've been to colleges and because I didn't have daddy's money and because I couldn't provide for the team I wasn't playing no matter how good I was so like I've definitely been through that. So, what led you to Morgan State girl? I know my HBCU experience. So, what led you there um at the time? I was like COVID.

I committed based off of a virtual tour and I knew I didn't want to stay at home so choosing a school that was 20 hours away was probably the best option for me just because I've grown so much independently and being away from home, I just didn't want to be close to my parents. I don't know, I feel like my that's real. My dad went far from home, my mom went far from home; um, I just didn't want to be at a school where it felt like high school part two, like I just, I don't know, I just wanted to be comfortable and become comfortable in certain settings so I felt like Baltimore was The perfect place did that provided you with, like, um, a new identity without your parents, like, did that show you, like, a new new person for yourself, like, did you reinvent yourself at your HBCU?

Oh, 100% 100%, like, I feel like I wouldn't be the person I am today if I didn't step onto Morgan State's campus at 17. Because I'm going to be 21 July 7th, and the person I am today is not the same person that I was three years ago, at all. So, did you always want to go to an HBCU? Or it was just like it just kind of fell into your lap? What's so crazy is, I didn't even want to go to HBCU at all; Morgan wasn't even a thought. I didn't even know Morgan existed until the coach reached out one of the assistant coaches at the time reached out to me um Sandy Sankey he's currently at Minnesota um he reached out to me and was blowing my phone up as I was on a visit

Arkansas Monticello um consistency and so um I was like hmm let's let's dibble and dabble into this and figure what the figure out what this is and then um I had conversations with the coach I really like the coach I still talk to her till this day um even though she's not my coach anymore um but yeah I don't I would have never chose Morgan State if I feel like Morgan State didn't choose me um and my senior year being so rough um club wise for me To adapt and kind of fit in, in a way, um, was like okay, I don't want to be around this anymore, like diving into the whole being the only one and understanding trying to figure out your role when you really don't have a role but you want to fit in because you're on the team.

Was yeah, was an eye-opening experience and understanding that, like, I wanted to be around us again, like I wanted to play with girls. That was like, oh, she looks like me; she's just as good as me, if not better. Yeah, yeah, and she doesn't, she doesn't not like me because of the color of my skin; she just doesn't like me because we don't mesh. I'd rather someone not like me because They don't mess with my personality instead of my skin color, like I've always found that, like it just leaves me no words, so I definitely, especially being um biracial, my mom's white, my dad's black, so I was never white enough, I was never black enough, and like yeah in reality when I get pulled over, no one sees that my mom's white, they the cop sees I'm black, so it's just like just being in that I guess limbo area was hard for me.

So like, how would you rate your overall experience as a student at Morgan State? Hmm, I would say a seven, okay, six, yeah, I was like, okay, we're gonna say we're gonna say a six and why, why is that? I love school, I really do uh love being a student I might love being a student more than an athlete um just because I know that school is going to take me so much further than athletics um and understanding that I'm this is my first degree I'm probably going to get two more so I want to be a nurse um so when I graduate I'll be going to nursing school and then I might get my master's in nursing so it's kind of up in the air but my major right now is nursing and I'm

nutritional science and I'm minoring in business just because I have so many backup plans just in case nursing doesn't work just in case yeah just in case um I have um I would love to if nursing doesn't work I would love to go into the operations/operational side of athletics, as far as basketball or football, or just athlete development. Um, player athlete development um and then understanding that whole aspect, I love academic advising. I kind of advise some of my teammates and other athletes. I was just about to say maybe like maybe you should dabble in the sports world on the academic side, like that would be yeah, that would be nice, but um, I feel like they don't get the credit they deserve.

Um, I feel as though academic advisors do not receive the credit that they deserve, let up and I don't know the salary that they receive, but I don't think it's enough. For the work, there's no way, there's no, no, the way. Morgan, we have one, two, three, I want to say five, I want to say five. I think one strictly for four or five, one strictly for football, strictly football only, one and then they all like divide sports um like softball, soccer, and tracker like one, and then like basketball men's, oh it's crazy, it's actually and I'm just like I praise you, like I won't give you any hard time as long as you give my schedule, I will get the grades, like just give my number make sure exactly, exactly, okay.

So, you gave academic wise a six, okay. Give me your rating of Morgan State as an athlete, like tell me about the environment. Like, um, how it feels to step on the court with girls that look just like you? Like, obviously there's still going to be drama; we're women; we have our sensitivities; we have our hormones. So, like, we obviously know it's realistic, but how is that different for you and how is it different for you and how is it different for you and how is it different for you knowing it's not because of like your skin? Um, it's so crazy this past year, we did not have any drama. Thank you, wow; we did not have any drama, and I, I love my teammates for that because the years prior we've had drama, and it was just so draining, um, so draining.

Man, like I, and I think now, um, we're At an age where it's like, we have a 24-hour rule on our team where we have those conversations, and it's like, we're at an age where it's like: look, we have a 24-hour rule if you don't like the conversation, you have another one, and then y'all get to resolve it. But I, as an athlete, I would rate it a four and a half or a five okay, and I say that because one, I've had to deal with so much adversity, and I feel like I wouldn't like I said I wouldn't be where I am today without the adversity. So I'm very appreciative of the opportunity at Morgan State; I'm very appreciative of the athletic department, and I feel like I would be where I am today without The adversity,

but I feel like as an athletic department as an athlete, I could do so much more and as an athletic department we could do so much better, just because so many other institutions are doing so much more and so much better. And I know a lot goes into doing more and being better as a whole, but there's a lot of work that can be done and there's a lot of success that could happen if we were just more intentional with some of the things that we did. Yeah, well 100 percent, um. I definitely agree because like just my own HBCU experience, like before I finally got to my HBCU, I went to two colleges before, and like let me just say, like I rather I rather do Jackson state over again than go to the PWIs that I went to before because the way it mentally drained me like like I questioned my identity I went through body dysmorphia like because they wanted they weren't small fast skinny girls and I'm 6'

2 and I could probably go to any career where she can lift 135 like it was just, it was so hard for me, and like I was always outcasted as like the mean black girl or very aggressive, and like just having women coaches, it was just all over the place. But I can totally agree with you when you said like the opportunities that we have, we don't, we're not intentional about them because it's like the things we could do but we don't, like the amount of effort and money they pour into football, it's just like we're here, man, it's like we're here, and I just think it's actually hilarious because I'm like, okay, so you're gonna get football, our only field, just so they can go through a walkthrough, but we can't have our own have our own practice.

Like, we won a state championship for soccer, they talked about it a couple days and then we were gone, out of there, so it's just kind of like I don't know, it's like they need to spread the love a little bit, and I think that's really hard for me as well. That's why I don't. Get me wrong, I have one more year and I could have entered the transfer portal, but to me, it's so much bigger. And, like you said, you're very academically prone. I am I can't lie; I'm athletic prone through it all, like my siblings before me they were salutatory and bow all that. But like, it's always been sports to me, like my whole thing was: oh, I need to get black girls that look like me more into predominantly white sports, like I want to be that mental health advocate for them, and I want to tell their stories and share their stories just so

that now they have a community, like not only me but look your story and like, just about it, I would. Go through it all over again even though the water crisis isn't having any water, showering outside like I would go through all of it again because I was accepted as me and in that sense, but okay. So do you think, like playing at an HBCU has made your experience easier for college sports or harder for you? I would say a little bit of both, okay um, harder because of injury-wise, um, like I said my freshman year I got hurt, I had plantar fasciitis still to this day, um, and then my shoulder surgery was a battle in itself, but I will also say easier because I figured out how to advocate for myself.

Okay, I feel like if I wasn't able to advocate for myself It would be harder. 100% would be harder, um, but learning how to have conversations that I don't want to have, that are uncomfortable, um, have made me even more comfortable with myself and I think like now where I can have those conversations and be like, 'I'm hurting, I'm burnt out, this is not okay, this is how I'm feeling.' I want you to understand where I'm coming from because I'm not gonna be able to go in two weeks and play to my full potential if you feel like I'm gonna run 30 million sprints in practice and then turn around and play a game tomorrow and have 7 a.m. Weights like it's just now granted, will I do it? Yes, because I.

I hate complaining. I hate people seeing me cry. I hate people seeing me in pain, but I'll be hurting and I'll be crying because sometimes you just need to let it out; sometimes you just need to have that moment, or journal, or pray. I, my foundation is Jesus Christ. I believe in Jesus Christ 100% and I feel like if I if I need to have a moment and go pray and cry and do what I have to do to get myself together in order for me to get through the day, I will do whatever I have to do because in my life I'm not gonna be able to do it because I'm not gonna be able to do it because I'm not gonna

if I'm not where I need to be mentally; I'm not gonna be where I need to be physically and if I'm not where I am where I need to be physically I'm definitely not there mentally so 100% like my coach he I applaud him any day like I respect him as a person so much because he lets us have like those mental health days like I remember I lost my dad when I was about 15 so so like when I go when I get to those moments where I was like dang like what would my dad do like and I can't have those conversations I'm not gonna be able to do it because I'm not gonna be able to do it because I'm not like I just need a day and he's just full on like okay get a day tomorrow come back even stronger like I'll be here when you're ready to talk like he's Just that person is just like, 'Hey, my door's always open.' Or he'll blow your phone up.

Be like, 'Why haven't you come visited me today?' Like, 'Let's get lunch.' Like, he's definitely like oh my gosh one of the best coaches I've had as um, just because he sees me as a person. But um, do you think like attending an HBCU gave you the support better between balance and athletics? Well, like the balance between athletics and academics, yes. I'm very involved on campus, very girl feel because I was just gonna get into what you be doing, you be doing a lot. President member of five organizations, girl please! And then didn't you just get a part-time job, yeah? I was bored, I was literally bored. I okay, I'm just gonna go down the whole list, so I am currently the senior class secretary for SGA, which is Student Government.

Um, I'm the president of the student athlete advisory committee. I am a member of the National Society of Leadership and Success. I'm a member of Nutritional Science Org, um, I'm missing one young life MSU, I haven't gone to meetings but I'm still a member because I'm still in the group me, um, and then and then I want to join, um, FCA soon we should be getting an FCA started soon so I'll probably join that too, um, and then I'm going to be a member of the student athlete advisory committee. And I did get a part-time job at Target, I love that job so much. Do you like it because of the people? No, it's just a simple fact that like you're rewarded with hours they give you what you work for, um, and me personally I don't do anything

that I'm incapable of doing, so as far as like I feel like anything I put my mind to I can do, so everything that I'm involved in, I'm going to be a part-time job at Target, I love that job so much. It's because I felt like I could do it. So what advice do you give to people that like struggle with time management? Like what, what advice could you give the only thing I could say is figure it out, um, I I figured it out. And I only say figure it out is because I took the time to sit down, have a planner, build a calendar, have conversations with my coach like, 'Hey this is what I want to do, this is what my day looks like', is it draining? Yes.

Is it rewarding? I like... I can give you a whole rundown of the day so in off-season because I got the job in off-season, I was working at Bath and Body Works before but I left and went to Target. I um we had 7 a.m waits after that, we would get breakfast. Um then we had practice for two hours after practice, I had classes after class, I would leave if I wouldn't meet with my academic advisor because I talked to my academic advisor and I was like, I'm not going to be able to meet with my academic advisor almost every day, those are like we, you're rocked, yeah. They have held me down, tears, laughs, all of it if I if I don't talk to my academic advisors, I feel like I didn't do my job, man.

Like, hey, I just want to let you know, I'm probably going to fail this test, and then I'm going to take the test, and then I come back and be like, 'I got a 90.' So, yes, yes, I don't know, but I'll leave the meeting, go get food, head to work work from 6 to 10, 5 to 10 sometimes like 3:30 to 10 depending on the day, and then do it all over again. So, what did you find most challenging and what did you find most rewarding, most? Rewarding would definitely be the money, okay. Yeah, as a broke college student, I have struggled with being financially stable and it has been it has taken a toll on me just because I love food, I love Target, and I love um being able to do things that are just like you know, let's go do this or like candle making, painting, picnics, you know, just little things that like, just are stress relievers.

Baking so you're good at time management but that financial stability is yeah it's so crazy because my dad's a financial advisor, so, you got I'm screaming, my dad is my financial advisor, but you know, it's still a work in progress um, yeah. And that's okay, but um, yeah, I think time time management for me, just knowing my routine and understanding my routine has been the biggest thing. What was the most challenging? Taking care of my body because I would say I fell off with PT, but I stopped taking care of my body how I should have been, and I think for me, because I was lifting so much and putting a like putting so much stress on my body, I wasn't taking the time to go to the training room and get treatment or get PT.

Um, I think being on my feet for that many hours and then lifting and doing all the like... it just that, that was probably the most challenging um, but I feel Like, the reward was more important than sitting down and not doing anything now I did take some days I do have days off where I just chill stay in the house you know cook or bake so before I get to the last question, is there anything you want to share about your story or anything about your experience? Morgan State that you think people should know? Morgan State is an experience that you have to make for yourself. I feel as though everybody's experience at Morgan is different.

My experience is going to be different from my teammate's experience and my teammate's experience is going to be different from their possible significant others' experience at Morgan. So, I think understanding that your experience is not going to be the same as everybody else's and everybody has different values and standards for what they want their HBCU experience to be is very important. And also, I love Morgan now. I could not have said that my freshman year. My freshman year was one of the hardest years mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, all of the above. Because I was hurt, I was also in a toxic situation that was mentally draining. And it's crazy because we're friends now. So, I can talk about it. But I was in a toxic relationship.

And I think I was the hardest on myself academically. That was the one of the semesters I got a 4.0. And then the other semester, I got a 3.9. And I bawled my eyes out like I failed a class. And that was just a turning point for me. Like, you don't have to be so hard on yourself. And understanding that you're going to make mistakes and have all A's and figuring out where my balance would be for that aspect. So that would be the advice that I give. And giving yourself grace. I think, and coming to college humbly. I came in thinking that I was that girl. I came into college thinking I was that girl. And I got humbled very quickly. Yeah. It's funny you say that.

Because I came into college, I was like, oh my god, I don't like anyone. I was like, let me not like I was like, because I had trust issues coming into college, like huge trust issues. Like I told you, like, I lost me and my siblings, we lost our dad at like in high school. So it's like going to high school, I had trust issues. So like, I think mine was more like a no, like people like are actually kind, like you can actually be friends with people. So mine was more like a get the heck away from me instead of like, you know what I'm saying? So I definitely, a shocker. Definitely. But as far as and building relationships is so important. Building relationships outside of your sport. Oh my goodness.

With the friends I have outside of volleyball, I cherish those friendships. Because sometimes I do not want to talk about volleyball. I do not want to be bothered by volleyball. I don't want to watch film. I don't even want to say 'Hey, how are you?' But I'm not a volleyball player right now. Please don't ask me anything. I'm telling you my friends outside of soccer are amazing. Like my psychology babies like oh my gosh, like they are literally a breath of fresh air for sure. The one thing I will say, I'm a miracle baby. I was born September 1. I was born July 7. And I was right, I was three pounds and 2.4 ounces. And I was born dead. Yeah, you can say I was born dead.

Um, and the doctors had to revive me and they were like, 'She's not gonna make it.' And so they were like, 'She'll never, you know, be like she'll never survive.' This is just what it is. Um, I was jaundiced. I was in the hospital for 50 days. And then, um, here I am today. So it wasn't for God's grace. I wouldn't be like I said, I wouldn't be where I am today. And kind of going back and looking and taking certain times for granted. I regret just because of the simple fact of like, I was born and I wasn't alive. So don’t like time is not guaranteed. And don’t take it for granted. For sure. Right. So I love that. Yeah, that, that was your story right there.

So our last question is presented by our sponsor Cricket Wireless. So shout out to Cricket, a proud supporter of HBCU culture and community. How has going to an HBCU influenced the person you are today? That’s a deep question. I wouldn’t be the person I am without my HBCU. I feel as though if I went to a different institution, I wouldn’t be where I am now. Um, mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, understanding and finding my why was the biggest thing for me, and understanding that you're going to go through things that you're not going to understand, but coming out on the other side. And understanding at the end of the day, why you went through those things has been a big stepstone for me. And also the person I am today is I'm a, I'm a very peaceful person.

I don't like to argue. I love, love, love my space. And I love, love, love my peace. And the person I was freshman year, I would love people around me. I yearn for just different people and different aspects of myself. And I would love people around me; I would love people around wanted friends and looked out for everything else. And yeah, like now I still, now I still take care of other people as far as not putting myself first all the time, but understanding that you have a community and you have people that appreciate you and appreciate, appreciate your time and who you are as a person. And kind of just getting a better understanding of that aspect of everything.

I love that! Well thanks so much for joining me, Trinity. I think, without being biased, you've definitely been one of my favorites. Listeners Thanks, for tuning in. We've got so many more guests to talk to and discover from HBCUs from all angles. So, make sure you rate, review, and subscribe so you don't miss another episode of Echoes of the Yard presented by Cricket Wireless. Thank y'all!